The Forgotten Word - NO
In my work with clients, both professionally and personally, NO is the word I see missing the most from their vocabulary. This simple two-letter word has the capacity to transform your day-to-day life in ways you can't even imagine. I think we all struggle with this at times in our desire to please friends and family, make clients happy, and so on. But, there is a huge cost every time you don't say NO when you know it's the best possible answer. Here's what I see as some of the costs of not saying NO:
Personally
- People stressed out and running around frantically, human "doings" as I call them, because they know they can't get everything done they've promised.
- People unable to be present in a conversation and truly listen to one another because the "little voice in their head" is rambling on and on about the place they should be or what other thing they should be doing right then.
- People resentful while doing things for others because they feel they were "forced to or had no other choice".
- Our well-being. We're resentful, resigned, pessimistic and cynical, rather than peaceful, optimistic and ambitious because we can't say NO!
Professionally
- Employees working at less-than-maximum efficiency and with nearly no enthusiasm, basically complying rather than fully committing, because they feel they can't say no or counter-offer to their superior.
- Leaders and managers overwhelmed because they are chasing their tails trying to keep promises that have nothing to do with their organization's mission or core offers.
- Businesses losing valuable customers or employees due to broken promises.
Sound familiar? I see this all around me in today's world of constant change and seemingly unlimited opportunity.
What's the answer? WE MUST SIMPLY LEARN TO SAY NO, WITH DIGNITY, IN OUR LIVES.
If the little voice in your head said "Mark, that's easier said than done!", let me say you might be right. It may take some effort on your part, but it can be learned with some new tools and practice. You must learn:
- A new interpretation of NO -- it simply means "I decline" and not "I'm rejecting you".
- To develop the emotional strength that will allow you to say NO, or counter-offer, without worrying about offending someone, hurting their feelings or losing business.
- The physical body of determination, or the warrior, that it takes for you to say NO.
It's not something you either have or you don't -- this skill can be learned.
I specialize in teaching and coaching people in their professional and personal lives to be better leaders and managers, build trusting relationships, communicate clearly and honestly, and manage their promises and their moods -- TO DESIGN THE LIFE THEY WANT!
I offer a variety of workshops and coaching options. If you want to learn more about DESIGNING YOUR LIFE give me a call at 615-865-1927.
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