Are You Keeping Your Resolutions?
If not, perhaps it’s YOUR MOOD. Many of us create New Year’s resolutions and pursue them with great vigor as the year starts. Then somewhere around the end of January or early February we notice our enthusiasm starting to wane. We start slacking off a little on the stuff we said we were committed to, and before you know it, it’s March and we’re right back where we started. We probably even feel worse about ourselves than when we started.
How come? An easy story to tell yourself (your internal voice) would be “I just don’t have the willpower” or “Ah, things will never change for me”. Those stories won’t work for you, I promise, so perhaps it’s time to take a look at and focus on something else – your MOOD around the whole thing.
Moods are predispositions for action. Said differently, certain moods open possibilities for action for us and others close down possibilities for action. Specifically, the mood of AMBITION has us see many new possibilities in our lives, whereas the mood of RESIGNATION effectively has us see no possibilities in our lives. They literally make a “world” of difference, so we must learn to become aware of and manage our moods more effectively.
Let’s look at a definition for these two moods. RESIGNATION can be said to be an opposition to possibilities in our life. AMBITION can be said to be an acceptance, or openness, to possibilities in our life. Let’s look at each one.
Have you ever felt really down or “blue” in your life? I think we all have. That, in essence, is being in RESIGNATION. Look at the root of that word – RESIGN. In other words, you’re resigned about the possibilities in your life. Your internal voice, or what you actually say, may sound something like “Nothing will ever change” or “No matter what I do it won’t make a difference”. Sound familiar? That’s resignation talking. When you’re in this mood, life feels very heavy and you feel like this is how it will be forever. The key thing to remember here is this is just the mood you happen to be in at this moment – it is not fixed!
Have you ever felt like the world was your oyster or your life was full of the possibility of many wonderful things? This is often how we feel when we start something new - a new romantic relationship or even a new career. This is being in AMBITION. You’re ambitious about your life and what the future may hold. This mood is the foundation of all those new ideas and actions that are a part of your New Year’s resolutions. Your internal voice, or what you actually say, in this mood is more likely to be “I can’t wait to get started” or “This is really going to be great this time”.
A key caution I have about the mood of RESIGNATION - if you wait until your mood changes before you take an action, you may wait forever. This is often where we get stuck when we’re in resignation. When you are resigned, not only do you not want to do anything, but you literally don’t even see new action as possible. You feel stuck, down and mired in the muck. So, what do you do then if you find yourself in resignation and want to move to ambition?
There are two key ways to SHIFT from RESIGNATION to AMBITION:
- Take a NEW ACTION. Remember the Nike slogan – Just Do It! Literally take any new action you can, a physical action or a conversational action, and that is often enough to get the ball rolling.
- Check out your ASSESSMENTS, or opinions, that have you stuck in resignation by sharing them with another person. Sometimes just having a conversation and sharing what you’re thinking, and then listening to another person’s perspective on the issue or situation, can give you one or two new possibilities for action that you haven’t thought of.
So, back to our New Year’s resolutions. What often happens is our initial ambition about potential changes in our lives meets the reality of us not executing our plan perfectly, and we start sliding towards or into resignation. The internal voices of “Here we go again” and “See, I knew you wouldn’t change” start to chime in and we’re done!
In order to sustain the AMBITION, we must commit ourselves to being very aware of our mood and commit ourselves to take whatever action is necessary to maintain our mood. We must enlist the support of others to assist us in achieving our resolutions, and we must be willing to speak our negative internal conversations and ask others to offer counters to them. In short, we must learn to be a better observer of our mood and do whatever it takes to manage our mood.
One thing I’ve learned about AMBITION in my life - ambition breeds new action and taking that action often breeds more ambition. It’s a circular relationship.
So, what one NEW ACTION can you take today to open up new possibilities, create some AMBITION, in your life?
Look for an announcement soon of my upcoming, one-day "DESIGNING YOUR LIFE" workshop, which will focus on improving your conversations, building trust in your relationships and learning to manage your moods and emotions.
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